Monday, May 21, 2012

A Scooby Snack

Wow!  After logging in for the first time in many months, I actually had to teach myself the new layout of blog land...

That's what I get.

Where to begin?  Well, I haven't been in Witness Protection, nor did I eat a watermelon seed or anything of that sort.  Life just gets busy and before you know it, there ya are!

My own brother has been the biggest whiner at my lack of sharing, along with several other family members (all in good fun).  But Tim got me best when he said, "No blog?  Lazy.  All you did for months was send links and tell me to read it, then my 3rd grade reading level starts to read and you quit.  I will never see the 4th grade or Super Fudge!"
Well, in the spirit of advancing my little brother into the 4th grade reading level...here goes:

As with every winter/spring, I did my traveling job hop.  Only 7 weeks this time.  Not bad.  It was cut short to 5 for health reasons.  To make a very long story long, my boss/friend/Guardian Angel, JoWaWa (because she's a bit of a whiner too), came about as close as a friend can to being a true lifesaver.  When I noticed something was amiss, and being hours away from home in a hotel room, she rose to the occasion and insisted I go to the ER.  Not only insist, she drove way out of her way and swooped me up into her car and took me herself.  I think she knew I'd sit there and what...wait?  Well, Duh! 

Be that as it may, I was pregnant (see I really DID eat a watermelon seed Judy!).  Unfortunately, the poor little bugger got all plugged up in the fallopian tube...again.  Total bummer.  JoWaWa stayed with me until Pig Pen could make it there.  She even wore pj's that she wouldn't be caught dead in normally.  She ran photo enforced red lights, she cried when I cried and laughed when I laughed.  Cuz ya know I just have to laugh...

We opted for non-surgical treatment this time in an effort to save the only good tube I have left.  Always hopeful of what the future may hold!  Essentially, it was a chemo drug.  Chemo drugs attack fast growing cells and well, you know -destroy them.  It wasn't pleasant.  I have a now personal appreciation for Cancer patients and the much more aggressive and stronger treatments they receive.  May none of you ever know, that is my prayer for you.

So that happened one week into my spring job fling!  Can ya believe it?  I took two weeks off and then back I went.  I could have (and hindsight says should have) taken more time off.  But I don't work much thru out the year and sometimes the saddle is just the best thing to get back into.  And my little JoWaWa, as much as she tried, couldn't hold me back this time...I love her and thank her always!!!

That my friends, was part one.  We are mostly all good now.  Physically that is.  Emotionally, I have done great...you know me!  I don't let things get me down!  And I have had a little too much practice in the area of miscarriages, it is what it is!

Now onto the blessing behind it...Because there is ALWAYS a Blessing:
See that?  No, it's not a boob shot!  Eyes up higher people!! 

What it was; is that nasty little thing called skin cancer.  Now how the heck can there be a blessing here???  Remember that chemo drug they gave me to dissolve the pregnancy?  It actually made the spot on my chest respond "oddly".  I made quick work of getting it looked at and sure enough a biopsy turned up Basal Cell Carcinoma.  Which is actually "the good kind of skin cancer".  They got it ALL.  After roughly 12 external stitches and 6 internal ones...they dang well better have!  See...always a blessing.

My twist on the story -

I had a boob job. 
On just one side. 
Cuz it's all I could afford. 

Heheheheee!  (that of course is not true, just messin')

Let's see about the more mundane in quick form:  Garden is in, weather is unseasonably warm, weeds are unruly at an early rate, lost 2 chickens to hawk attack (Kelso is safe!), bees all made it thru winter, got rear-ended in my truck, been doing some sewing, made a road trip to see some friends, acquired another four-wheeler, getting ready for Greek Easter this weekend, and I bought my very own (and first) handgun!  Woohoo!  I was very excited about that!   :o)

Now for the worst part - the hardest part... 

Of all the things that could have gotten us down these past few months, but simply didn't, there is one final chapter here that truly tore my heart apart.

We lost our little Ami.


After fourteen years of being my dearest and most faithful companion, she died at home, in my arms.

I do not recall the last time I wailed so hard.  I did not cry, as I am even now, I wailed.  A grown woman, brought to my knees.

When I consider my life and the relationships in it, I have realized since her passing, that the only person (or little being) who has been with me longer than Ami, is my Mom.  I never had the chance to live 14 or more years with anyone else.  Not Pig Pen, my Dad or brothers even.  Just me, Mom...and Ami. 

Me, Mom...and Ami.  What a trio the three of us made! 

I guess all jokes aside, Ami got the last laugh on us.   She was very ornery when she was a puppy and I quickly chided her that she would live to be 15 just to tick me off!  She fooled me!!  Fourteen...and what I wouldn't give to have that extra year with her.

My Father-in-Law, Pops, put this together for me.  It's pretty awesome...

video

That has to be one of the best songs in the world.  So fitting.  Thank you Pops, we all certainly loved Ami and she is missed terribly.

Isn't it a tragic love affair we have with our pets? 

Hey Ma...it's you and me now.  I want way more than another 15 from you!

Hope this finds you all doing well.  Thank you for the emails and comments in my period of MIA.  You are all pretty darn great in my book!

With much love,
APG




44 comments:

  1. So good to see a post from you even though all the news was not so good. But, so is life. It definitely was a blessing that they found the skin cancer. I just lost my dear Uncle to skin cancer a couple of months ago. His never showed on the skin.

    That video was wonderful. I did need a box of tissues to get through it though.

    Welcome back.....we have definitely missed you!!

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    1. I am so sorry to hear that, Robin. I sincerely hope that it was as peaceful and painless as possible. It's such a horrible shame.

      We really should get checked annually. Especially since we are all outside in the gardens so much. And we know that certainly isn't ending soon, right?

      You guys have been missed too, thank you!

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  2. I am SO GLAD you finally made it back to us, but heartbroken over the problems you've suffered since we last heard from you. Oh, I cried real tears for you, and I have a feeling you may have cried a few for yourself, even though you try to make us laugh about it.

    Dear, dear Ami. Rest in peace you beautiful child.

    I had a bit of panic this morning when my little boy-dog Otto came up missing. We'd had family here, and assumed he slipped out the front door as they left. I was frightened and shaking, fearing we'd find his little body out in the street somewhere. I called my daughter to tell her Otto was gone, and she informed me he did NOT follow them out of the driveway. She said "Are you sure he didn't follow us to the shed? Go look". Otto was very happy to finally be let out of the shed, and he got extra hugs. It really hit me how important those two little dogs are to me, and they've only blessed my life for a bit over four years now.

    Well, I sure rambled on, didn't I? Just remember...you have been missed by many of us. You are loved!

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    1. Thank you Granny! And I am so glad you found Mr. Otto!! I have dreadful thoughts of finding my doggies hurt like that! Very happy to hear he was just in lock up for a short bit!! And it only takes one moment, or 14 or 4 years for those 4 little puppy paws to crawl into our hearts. Little buggers!

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  3. What a beautiful tribute to Lil Ami, I know you all loved her very much. So surprising how they are "family" members.

    Absolutely thrilled to have you back at blogging. You were really missed by everyone. I know you had a hard winter but have always kept a positive attitude. You are one super niece. Love you dearly.

    BTW, my keyboard and sleeves are all wet...forgot the kleenex!

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    1. I am so glad you got to meet little Ami! You can attest to her being my little stinker ;)

      Well you know, I do come from mostly good stock! So you aren't half bad yourself.

      Sorry about the snot all over you! xoxoxo

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  4. What a strong woman you are. If any good is to come out of that post it will be the inspiration that I and many others will get to look for the blessing in everything "Because there is ALWAYS a Blessing."

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    1. Awe, I love that you find that inspiring! It's so true. If we could all find one little speck of good in everything maybe the world would be better off for it, eh? Mustard Seeds :o)

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  5. Hi,just amazing you are all right.Did I really stick my foot in my mouth again?lol.You have been through hell and back,but at least your back.That was weird about the chemo.I know ,I made a pack with God,if I can keep Jerry longer ,I will suffer the cancer,what do you know ,I ache all over and Jerry has no pain and no side effects from the chemo,and I still have him.Sorry about the watermelon seed AGAIN,someone scold me for having a big mouth.But I feel whole again,she's ba-ckkkkkkkk ♥

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    1. Oh Judy, when I was lurking the blogs and saw your comment, I said to myself "you really need to email Judy and while you are at it rsvp Mama Pea". Then I decided nope, I am ready to come out with it and just post it all! So you see...you didn't stick your foot in your mouth...you stuck it in my REAR! HAHAHAHA!!! Good job little girl!

      I am 1) Sorry you aren't feeling well and 2) Glad that Jerry is feeling well! The things we do for those we love! But what a testament to your love for him and your family that you would offer to take up that burden. You are such a good and kind soul!

      Ohhh, how I have missed your "big mouth" :o) Those are your words sweet cheeks, not mine! But ya made me laugh!!!

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  6. Yes indeed you had a crap ass year so far. Here is hoping that from this point on it totally turns around. Glad to have you back :)

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    1. You really are my sister from another mother! I love how you never mince words :o) Crap ass...hehehee

      You never lost me!

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  7. Holy crap girl, yay!!!! So glad you are back I had to say "holy crap" before I go back and actually read your post :) Now I'll go read!

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    1. Another one...have I said before the word "crap" cracks me up? Ha! I don't know why that is...LOL

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  8. Wow, that's a LOT of goings on! But you waded though it, kicking stuff outt'a your way to get where you were going. Or something like that :)

    Glad you're back with us. Sorry to hear about your loss; hopefully Ami is already on her next adventure!

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    1. Yes, something like that for sure!

      Thank you CR, and it has been decided she is chasing the mailman down the road, attacking the vacuum and um...peeing on someone elses carpet! :o}

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  9. It's amazing how much you have had to deal with, but I realized that when you in someone's life in any capacity, like a fellow blogger - long enough, we all will see each other go through some real life stuff, both good and bad. I'm so sorry to hear about the tubal, my friend here just went through one as well, and her hubby had just left for deployment, there just isn't much that can take the "suck" out of that except real tears and time. Sorry about Ami, I just love what you said about her - I had a Lab 'Jessie" that was always with me, single, through a divorce, then single, then finally with hubby and then a kid... she was always just "there"... SO HAPPY you are back, and that your garden is in, I'll say a prayer that this season brings lots of healing and happiness to you :) Hugs...

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    1. I'm sorry to hear about your friend too :( I hope whichever way they treated her that she recovers quickly physically. It's the brain that takes a wee bit longer, especially with her hubby being gone. That realllly does suck! Maybe Jessie and Ami are horsing around together comparing notes on what basket cases their Momma's where cuz Ami was with me thru all that same 'crap' too. Except for the kid part of course...teehee! She actually didn't like kids much, they always wanted to squeeze her to death!

      Yes, my garden (as usual) doesn't hold a candle to yours! Well then again, you already have stuff galore and mine is barely planted let alone sprouting up! You can keep the turnips btw! I rate them along with peas...don't get me started!

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  10. So glad to have this post from you. And so sorry to hear of all you've been through. (Dang, the tears are starting again.) Someone near and dear to me just recently asked why bad things happen to good people. We just don't know, do we?

    Undoubtedly, you had your reasons for having to work through all of this on your own (and that's fine), but don't you know, Sweetie, that there are so many of us out here that would have wanted to help in any way we could during those really rough times.

    Blessings to you and your wonderful spirit and sense of humor. You're an inspiration. Love and hugs.

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    1. No we don't always know the answer to that question. But I will share my take with you - I have always said that if bad things are happening to me, then they aren't happening to someone else...and I'm ok with that.

      And yes, I know any one of you -and many of you did- reach out to me. Including you! That means more to me than you could possibly know.

      But the good thing is, if you believe in bad things coming in 3s, I've had mine. So really, I just dumped it all out there in one fell swoop and then we can all get on with the happy stuff! I don't wanna be a sad spot for any one. Blech! I want to make you laugh and smile and now we can get on with it!

      Now go wipe the buggars from your nose with your sleeve like everyone else...Love and hugs to you too!

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  11. So it took being called lazy huh! If I'd only known! You'd have been back months ago. Me and your brother really need to meet! Thanks for posting.

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    1. Ahhh Jody!!! Ya got me out loud on that one!! Hahaha! Yes if you had said LAZY vs Witness Protection I would have been thoroughly ashamed! Hahaha! Now my weakness is exposed! The four-lettered L word!

      You can meet my brother someday, but if you ever start telling me what to cook you for dinner and then tell me what I should have done differently to it...you better duck boy!!!

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  12. Oh my gosh, APG. I don't even know what to say. I know that you try to make us all laugh and I know that your happy crazy attitude helps you and us all deal, but holy moly girl, did I shed some tears over this post. I'm so relieved to see you posting again, and yet I can't believe the stuff you've had to deal with. I'm saying prayers for you tonight. You're simply amazing, my dear. Simply amazing. :)

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    1. I think you are pretty amazing too! Gosh the things you have been up to! I can see that the farm has brought you a lot of joy! I am looking forward to how that big butt garden treats you ;) I sense some good stories in the near future!

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  13. So glad you are back in blogland. I have been thinking of you so much! You are such an amazingly beautiful person inside and out and your positive energy through even the toughest struggles is contagious. Your strength is an inspiration to a lot of people! ((Hugs))

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    1. Thanks Diane, you will always be one of the most wonderful persons I have ever known. I feel honored and blessed by you girl!

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  14. Oh my gosh, you've been through so much. And still, your retain that sense of humor. So sorry about Ami. So glad to see you are okay. Welcome back!

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    1. Laughter is such great medicine! Especially when you can't change things, right? It's much better than the alternatives I think. Life's just too dang short not to enjoy it, so I do :)

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  15. I have missed your blogs so much. I lost my inspiration. Now maybe it will return with happiness in the new year. Love you both.

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  16. you know Di, they say better days are coming. I got a feeling this is going to be a better second half of 2012 for you. and you are wewlcome for the movie on Ami, I cried when I made it and cry every time I see it. I am so happy that I got to spend a few years with her, even if she was a hand full now and then. I do miss not seeing her when I come over. She was family!

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  17. Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! Your precious girl, you. What a thing to go through. I wondered about you but know that life can bring so many unexpected turns and twists. So sorry about the baby. And Ami. Hugs to you, and prayers for better days ahead.

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  18. Ahhh!!! How did I miss this post??!!!!! I am SO happy you are back sis!!!!!! And what a way to come back. I've missed your posts so much. Love you and sorry it took me so long to see this!!!

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  19. You could have knocked me over with a feather! I am SO glad you are back. And I even forgive you for not keeping us up with all your tough moments - it's easier to get hit with it all at once. I am so sorry about Ami. Our relationships with our four-leggeds is definitely a heart-breaking love affair. But how could we live without that experience? Welcome back, you cutie-pie. Don't be gone so long.

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  20. I'll admit, I teared up some watching the video. We lost a pet after only 2+ years and it broke my heart. Only one thing I don't agree with in the video and that's the part about not seeing Ami again......there is a dog heaven and we get to go there and visit if we make it to the people one!! Hi to Adam for me. See ya' 'round the circuit!!

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  21. your bees are invited to a pollen party being held at the "Bee Hive" ran by your local bee knee's society---hope your feeling better ,no rush to get you back ,I'm just a bee'zy body

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  22. Oh, such a cute little doggie! We still tear up when we think about our lab that we lost to cancer - he was a great dog. No other like him, for sure. Hope you are doing well. :)

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  23. How did I miss this lonely little post????? I was hoping and praying you'd be back, and nothing tragic had happened to you. It sound like you've been through enough to knock the best of us down. I'm sorry to hear about the hard things you've gone through. I'm so glad you've managed to make your way through it all, and I pray the inner wounds can heal as well as the outer have. I've missed you. I hope to see another post from you soon! :)

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  24. Looks like I missed this post, too. So sorry that you had to go through all that you did. Life just sucks sometimes, sort of kicks us in the butt and then stomps us when we are down. My hubby died 2weeks ago today, and I'm still feeling the stomping part. Be strong. Be stubborn. You've heard the saying, that which does not kill us makes us stronger? If that's the case, I think you must be pretty strong, indeed.
    ~~Lori

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    1. Thanks guys :)
      I'm hanging in and I hope you are too! I do miss you all. Xoxo

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