No Laughing Matter

So the other day Jane (who is also having a horrible year) and Robin (who is having an awesome year) both requested pictures of the garden.  Here's the ugly truth...

Every day, I find a few of these:

Although others seem fine:

The green beans are puny this year.  They don't fill out the trellis as beautifully as usual:

Then again, these are Kentucky Wonder.  I may switch back to Blue Lake next year.  If I live to tell:

My peppers are coming in very slowly.  These are the only Jalapenos I've spied thus far:

Other varieties are coming in, but some look like this:

Then there is was my wonderful head of cabbage!  Before the rain.  After Sunday and Monday, it now looks like this:

My beets came out of the rain like this:

And my Giant Eckdorfs aren't much better:

 My yellow eyed drying beans are dying before their time:

And my Orangeglo suddenly looks like this:

The corn tasseled:

 

And has signs of ears:

 

But the underlying problem is this:

And they killed the pumpkins.

Something is gnawing off the taters and maters to nubbins:

I think it's grasshoppers.  I have never had a problem with them before.  Suggestions???  Please?  Pretty??  I've only seen a few Japanese Beetles.

Last night, I pulled the beets, picked a few green beans, one cucumber, a few potatoes that met an early demise and yanked out the crummy lettuce.  I also DE'd everything.  e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  I looked like the abominable snow man when I was thru.  Or someone with an addiction gone terribly wrong.  :-{

So there you have it folks.  By far...my worst garden EVER.

I suppose I have grocery lines and grocery bills to look forward to this year. 

And here I was hoping to share!